The new A24 thriller film “Heretic” poses a provocative question to viewers by opening on a shot of a bus stop ad that reads:
“Who says size doesn’t matter?”
Which is a lot to consider when you’re only 14 seconds into a major motion picture.
The protagonists of this critically acclaimed film (played by “Yellowjackets” star Sophie Thatcher and “Generation’s” Chloe East) are religious missionaries who are expected to keep their minds on spiritual matters, but it’s obvious from the dialogue that the ad has provoked some earthier discourse, and the inexperienced pair wonder aloud–well, DOES it matter?
As far as die-hard social questions go it’s not exactly “What is justice?” or even “What is love?”, but it does keep coming up: A 2022 study published in the National Library of Medicine found that 45 percent of cis men surveyed wanted to be bigger and that most people overestimate how large the average penis actually is.
Other surveys have suggested this is a (pardon the phrase) lowball figure and that these stats may be higher among heterosexual men particularly.
A similar 2019 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy notes that “many men equate penis size with masculinity and sexual competence” and, perhaps amusingly, observed that men in their own sample were pretty clearly exaggerating their own endowments when asked.
(The survey relied on self-reporting, despite the, ah, evident flaws in that method.)
Use as directed. If you experience an erection lasting longer than two hours...good for you.
Since Mayer Labs was the first company to craft an ultra-thin condom in a larger size so people didn’t have to choose between safety and more pleasurable sex, we’ve spent a bit of time thinking such things through ourselves.
While it’s easy to laugh at what seems like a question of frivolous vanity, the truth is these anxieties expose inadequacies in the way society and sexual education teach people to think about their own bodies.
Especially among straight men, there are few polite opportunities to observe the bodies of peers, and even fewer chances to ask questions about them.
And since the kinds of bodies on display in pornography and other media are rarely representational, when it comes time to confront the inevitable question “Am I normal?” or even “What IS normal?”, to whose example can we look?
There’s a reason straight men are particularly likely to project values like masculinity and virility onto totems like penis size: Because these concepts are so precarious. Far from frivolous, these worries often reflect the deep-seated human need for love, especially self-love.
Thin, but not thin-skinned.
For the record, further research shows that most women who have sex with men prefer equipment of more or less average size. Importantly, women report that size is not usually the most consequential factor in satisfaction.
Since we’re all unique individuals, it’s impossible to make a blanket summation that size does or does not “matter,” but at the end of the day there are so many other variables informing your sex life that just this one really shouldn’t qualify as a big question.
The fact is, no matter how our bodies are shaped, nudity, sex, and intimacy mean making ourselves vulnerable to our partners. No number or survey is ever really going to resolve that vulnerability; it’s all just part and parcel of the tricky art of being human.
But what do you think? Comment, share this with friends and potential amors, and remember, regardless of your size, protecting yourself and your partner is an act of love.