One of the best parts of this season is the darkness. For is it in the darkest of spaces that light shines most brightly. In a society where so often we focus inward on what we want, this time of year encourages us to be graceful. To consider the needs and desires of others, to appreciate what we have, to be charitable, and to share what we have as a means of spreading joy and love. Around the holidays, everyone and everything around us is encouraging us to GIVE. Maybe you’ve been busy. Possibly you have been mindful of donations and supporting community drives for the less fortunate, or helping family members in need,. donating toys to a local charity or creating holiday cards for a nursing home this season, but have you shown appreciation and gratitude to your partner? Have you found your way to show love? Read on for some simple ways to communicate—and strengthen—your love through giving all year long.
Call out the little things
Every relationship takes work, day in and day out. Yet, the smaller acts that sustain a relationship often go unnoticed. As this year ends, and the next starts, commit to recognizing and acknowledging the daily investments, small and large, that your partner makes in your relationship. Let them know how much those small acts matter. It will make your partner feel seen and appreciated, and can even motivate you to become a more thoughtful and invested significant other, too! But in this season, consider the small little things they do to make this world a little better. Appreciate how they bring grace to others and how that makes you feel.
Speak their language
Everyone has different ways that they show and perceive love. If food is the way to your partner’s heart, cook their favorite meal or try a new restaurant together. If your partner shows—and receives—love through physical intimacy, carve out a special time to give them the sexy attention they deserve amid the chaos of work and other responsibilities. Demonstrate that what’s important to your partner is important to you, too, and watch your connection flourish.
Share only the positives
Train your mind to pay more attention to the great things about your partner by committing to only speaking highly of them to the people around you. And do this in their presence so they can witness your genuine belief. Also, be mindful, to avoid griping to a friend about something that annoys you about your partner, instead share something thoughtful or wonderful they did. It will get you in the habit of admiring them instead of criticizing them, and improve how your social circle perceives them, too!
Be their biggest champion
We all have goals and dreams, and when it comes to achieving them, having a supportive person in your corner can make all the difference. Whether they are trying to improve their health or find a better job, be the encouraging voice they need to achieve success. Help them recognize their strengths and build upon them, celebrate their small victories, and take every opportunity to boost their confidence and self-esteem. Approaching the world as a team—even when you’re pursuing individual interests and desires—can make your relationship even more solid.
Remember why you chose them
Whether you’ve been together for months or decades, tap into the excitement of a new relationship by remembering what made you fall for your partner in the first place. Look at them the way a stranger would, admiring their physical qualities or imagining what the activity they are doing or clothing they are wearing says about their personality. Remember the things you did to get their attention or try to impress them early on, and plan a special throwback date to channel that energy and reinvigorate your partnership. Remind each other of those early days AND how and why you still have those feelings and thoughts.
May you look with wonder at the darkness, and find the light and hope that comes from connection….Focusing on others creates more satisfying relationships, stronger communities, and a better world. Start anywhere that feels right….and that may be right in your own bedroom by loving and appreciating your partner, Wishing you a joyful and gratitude-filled season from all of us at Mayer Labs!